Fear Not

Ya'll know I carry around some neuroses sometimes. I think it is getting better, the further and further away I get from the past, hah, but despite the rest, I have also developed a sort of new one... I don't know if it is a product of the times and negativity of the world, but I have to tell ya, every day, I will look at the Star-News Online front page and say there is a breaking headline about an unidentified body found floating in the Cape Fear River? (Like there just recently was) A stinging fear goes right through me... What if it is someone I know?? I've heard other people with fears like this. Afraid something bad would happen to someone they love. I don't necessarily walk around paralyzed by that, but if I see some tragic local news, I definitely get a fleeting uneasy feeling in my stomach. I say fleeting b/c I am not always terribly irrational, and I would be in the nut house if I was immovable due to being scared. I dunno. Just felt like getting it out.

I guess it is sort of the opposite of the 'invincible' armor some people wear, thinking nothing bad will ever happen to them. Hah. I guess I generally just expect the worst, so either I'm ahead of the game, or still fighting off a bit of jaded cynicism of my youth...

Hmm.




and ps...i have actually known one of those people in the headlines before...and i guess that sinking feeling just lingers...