Out with the old
I’ve compiled a group of some of the unpublished starter posts. Not sure they are worth reading but since I wrote them at some point, even if now I don’t remember writing them, I want to post them. I’m going to try to write as much as I can on this blog. I need to flex my writing muscles again.
You can see the different times in my life…the emotional ups and downs with these different posts. Most of them were written in 2010 or before.
Untitled
I appreciate people's niceties. I appreciate them because I am human and use them myself.
I have become one with the crazy.
Working with the public is hard. We want it all and we want it right now. If we don't get it right now we bitch and moan and complain until the Vice-President of Student Services hears about it and has to try to invoke magic only they have the power to behold. Only to find out you could get the President of the United States in on it and it still won't move your Financial Aid into your account faster. You should have done the application by the deadline and you wouldn't have had this problem. But oh, how no one wants to hear that... We hear only what we want to hear. And then argue and swear it is what we heard. Oh the misunderstandings.
I'm going to lose my head if they don't calm down.
********
Cliches
I wonder what it's like to be one of those women that always needs to be taken care of? Those women always have a man though. A man is always willing and waiting in the wings to swoop in and take care of this woman. She has no idea she is this way, she just knows she always has a man. I'll never be this way because I see too much. I see this woman; I see what she does, how she acts, what she says. I cringe with embarrassment. His eyes light up and he sends her flowers to her job after the first date. She takes advantage of his intent to sweep her, and she feels sorry for him because he doesn't make her stomach swirl with butterflies.
Life doesn't have to be as hard and tortuous as I sometimes make it out to be.
I've realized that what I've wanted was a delusion, a mirage. Something for someone else to have, but not me. That's okay.
Well, some days I think I'll never get over it. People don't understand it. Hey, I don't even understand it. I already feel like a failure enough about it though, so other people's non-understanding and dismissal of it make me feel even worse. But I can't fault anyone, truly. I wouldn't know what to say to me either.
I have to be careful who I listen too.
Alls I know is that I am humiliated. How come it is so hard for me to believe that God really takes all my shame and humiliation? It's gone. Why do I have to remember it? And wear it still? I thought I had given it all up. I believed it, and then something comes along to shake me up again and force me to face it. I just run from it. Literally. I don't want to see myself there. I don't want to go back there. I beg God to not make me go back there. But it keeps getting thrown in my face. Unexpected.
Well, I've learned about something called a soul tie.
You can see the different times in my life…the emotional ups and downs with these different posts. Most of them were written in 2010 or before.
Untitled
I appreciate people's niceties. I appreciate them because I am human and use them myself.
*******
UntitledI have become one with the crazy.
Working with the public is hard. We want it all and we want it right now. If we don't get it right now we bitch and moan and complain until the Vice-President of Student Services hears about it and has to try to invoke magic only they have the power to behold. Only to find out you could get the President of the United States in on it and it still won't move your Financial Aid into your account faster. You should have done the application by the deadline and you wouldn't have had this problem. But oh, how no one wants to hear that... We hear only what we want to hear. And then argue and swear it is what we heard. Oh the misunderstandings.
I'm going to lose my head if they don't calm down.
********
Cliches
I wonder what it's like to be one of those women that always needs to be taken care of? Those women always have a man though. A man is always willing and waiting in the wings to swoop in and take care of this woman. She has no idea she is this way, she just knows she always has a man. I'll never be this way because I see too much. I see this woman; I see what she does, how she acts, what she says. I cringe with embarrassment. His eyes light up and he sends her flowers to her job after the first date. She takes advantage of his intent to sweep her, and she feels sorry for him because he doesn't make her stomach swirl with butterflies.
*******
UntitledLife doesn't have to be as hard and tortuous as I sometimes make it out to be.
I've realized that what I've wanted was a delusion, a mirage. Something for someone else to have, but not me. That's okay.
********
UntitledWell, some days I think I'll never get over it. People don't understand it. Hey, I don't even understand it. I already feel like a failure enough about it though, so other people's non-understanding and dismissal of it make me feel even worse. But I can't fault anyone, truly. I wouldn't know what to say to me either.
I have to be careful who I listen too.
Alls I know is that I am humiliated. How come it is so hard for me to believe that God really takes all my shame and humiliation? It's gone. Why do I have to remember it? And wear it still? I thought I had given it all up. I believed it, and then something comes along to shake me up again and force me to face it. I just run from it. Literally. I don't want to see myself there. I don't want to go back there. I beg God to not make me go back there. But it keeps getting thrown in my face. Unexpected.
Well, I've learned about something called a soul tie.