Niceties.
I knew it was all wrong the moment he gave me a toothbrush. Seemed harmless at the time. Nice. Isn't it funny how nice we all can be when we want something? I don't know when the world became so selfish, but I'm willing to guess that it's been that way since Adam and Eve got us kicked out of the garden for fulfilling their own selfish desires.
This weighs on me sometimes.
I've had a pretty tumultuous year. First real heart break, first time going to Vegas, first time resigning from a job and taking a stand, first time being unemployed since college... First time going to counseling, and first time living alone. Someone once told me they loved how open I was with everything. Maybe I am too open. Maybe I fit the cliche for hearts on sleeves, and naive small-town girls, but maybe this is who I am. Tumultuous year or not, I'm still here and thankful to be on the other side of the madness, and a stronger person from all of it.
I hate niceties. I hate having to walk in a place, knowing the truth and having to fake it. If I've learned anything at all during my mad break from reality this year it is that being honest, no matter what the cost, is the most important thing. Have nothing to hide, don't say anything anyone can twist around or use to hurt someone else, don't take your eyes off what you believe in for one second, or it will slip away faster than a rock slide off the side of a mountain.
I do believe in God, and He says that if I trust in Him and do not lean on my own understanding, then He will show me the way. If I seek Him first, He will give me the desires of my heart. I spent a lot of time this year NOT doing these things. And I've never been so hurt. It's hard for me to talk about faith with people. I know some of the things people think and say. I used to scoff, used to not care. But my concern should not be on what people think or what they will say, because I know I can do nothing about those things. I am learning to be who I am in all circumstances. I can be too accommodating. Too nice. I don't want to be a doormat.
Well, it is Thanksgiving tomorrow. Time to be thankful for all that I have. I am sitting here alone now, rather reflective, insightful. But it is times like these that thoughts can turn into emotional masochistic thoughts and take me back to a place that I've fought to get out of this year. That is why I decided to start a new blog. New beginnings all around.
I'll probably write more about NICETIES later. I think major sociology or psychology projects could be created on the topic. I plan on writing a short story with the word as a title. And so far, the first sentence of this blog is the first sentence in the story. Interesting, huh? Hah.
Happy Turkey Day
This weighs on me sometimes.
I've had a pretty tumultuous year. First real heart break, first time going to Vegas, first time resigning from a job and taking a stand, first time being unemployed since college... First time going to counseling, and first time living alone. Someone once told me they loved how open I was with everything. Maybe I am too open. Maybe I fit the cliche for hearts on sleeves, and naive small-town girls, but maybe this is who I am. Tumultuous year or not, I'm still here and thankful to be on the other side of the madness, and a stronger person from all of it.
I hate niceties. I hate having to walk in a place, knowing the truth and having to fake it. If I've learned anything at all during my mad break from reality this year it is that being honest, no matter what the cost, is the most important thing. Have nothing to hide, don't say anything anyone can twist around or use to hurt someone else, don't take your eyes off what you believe in for one second, or it will slip away faster than a rock slide off the side of a mountain.
I do believe in God, and He says that if I trust in Him and do not lean on my own understanding, then He will show me the way. If I seek Him first, He will give me the desires of my heart. I spent a lot of time this year NOT doing these things. And I've never been so hurt. It's hard for me to talk about faith with people. I know some of the things people think and say. I used to scoff, used to not care. But my concern should not be on what people think or what they will say, because I know I can do nothing about those things. I am learning to be who I am in all circumstances. I can be too accommodating. Too nice. I don't want to be a doormat.
Well, it is Thanksgiving tomorrow. Time to be thankful for all that I have. I am sitting here alone now, rather reflective, insightful. But it is times like these that thoughts can turn into emotional masochistic thoughts and take me back to a place that I've fought to get out of this year. That is why I decided to start a new blog. New beginnings all around.
I'll probably write more about NICETIES later. I think major sociology or psychology projects could be created on the topic. I plan on writing a short story with the word as a title. And so far, the first sentence of this blog is the first sentence in the story. Interesting, huh? Hah.
Happy Turkey Day
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