Soul Searchers. Searching for Love. Love. Love. Love is all around.

How do you trust? For the past couple of weeks I have just been saying to myself: "Just do it. Just--trust." Snap of the fingers and it needs to be so. Is it something I can teach myself to just Do? To feel? Is it a feeling of security?

I didn't realize how much I missed it until recently. Missed the feeling of trusting someone with my heart, myself. Didn't realize it was something I really was going to have to work through. It's been a while. I thought I had dealt with all those ick things from...before.... Guess that is what life is about. Moving forward and dealing with the kinks as the come. Hoping you meet people along the way that can be patient with all your crap. Sure enough they will have their own crap too.

I can give out all the rational, logical advice to my friends, and then when I'm faced with something I feel twisted and confused and sad. It's hard to know what is the right thing to do. How do you make it go away? I don't like to feel insecure or self-conscious. Both are unattractive. And not who I am to my core. I wonder if I will ever be "grown-up" enough to not let the outside world affect my emotions as much. Wah wah wah. I don't like feeling so serious and complicated. Maybe writing it out will help me to release the feelings. And they will be gone.

Someone. Teach me how to trust again.