Circles

Do you ever have times when you have so much to say, and yet you don't know how to say it? Are you ever afraid to say something? Do you ever try to figure out why you are afraid to say it? For me, it is because sometimes, when you say something, it changes everything. Why am I afraid to change it?

That is the question of the day. It frustrates me to no end. I guess I have been somewhat passive, or maybe lazy. Same thing? Because sometimes, I know or can see what needs to be done or said, but I just let time go by. Hoping the situation will just go away or improve without my words. Perhaps it's conflict that I'm afraid of. Yes. I do believe that is a big part. Is that something that is supposed to get easier? For me, I think it's gotten worse.

I think it is good to be meek. Meek means "enduring injury with patience and without resentment," and "deficient in spirit and courage." That sounds good. Peaceful. Biblical. Somehow I don't think what I am is meek. I think I'm a mess! :)

Lately, I am feeling tired and not content. I know what that means. I'm off of the Center. My focus is off. Story of my life. But I know that's what life is...up and down and all that cliched stuff. Doesn't really make it any better though.

Maybe someday I'll do what needs to be done.