Ramble on.

So, I'm kind of thinking that checking your online dating profile on the free sight you signed up with for kicks back in February on a Friday night is semi-pathetic. Okay maybe full-pathetic. But I digress. Little do yall know I am going to the movies later to see Couples Retreat so the night is not quite a loss. This is actually the first weekend night in over a month that I have had free time to sit on my couch and watch the ANTM marathon on Bravo and worry about my cat breathing loudly in my lap. Is it normal to hear them breathing? Can they have asthma? Anyway. It feels good to blog. It has been a while since I have formulated thoughts to paper. It is amazing how busy life can get and for what? It's not about doing what you love its about loving what you do. Or at least that is what I am trying to do at the moment. I don't have the luxury of doing what I love. Just yet anyway. It's not as if I am waiting for my life to begin, but I'm waiting for something. I guess I'll know when I find it. The online dating thing has been, well, interesting. I've written a little about it before on here, but I've learned a bit more about it since then. Something I should pass on: although I imagine I am a late bloomer in all things "dating," and most of you probably think so, so you may already know this, but when a guy says he is not "that guy," he is in fact, THAT guy. Do you know what I mean? I have this unfortunate quality of wanting to believe, and that usually gets my poor little heart in trouble, but I am getting more hard up about that. It ain't so on my sleeve anymore. But it's still pretty close to the surface. I haven't changed who I am for this world. Anyway. "That" guy is the guy that says what he thinks you want him to say and works on playing a game more than wanting to get to know a girl. I have yet to really meet one that I feel safe around. Safe meaning comfortable and maybe homey. Right now I keep coming back to the three. In my life so far I have met in person three guys who I think are perfect. One is married that I knew from High School. One I haven't seen in three years but am hoping will be at the next UNCW After Work Alumni thingamajig, (yep here's hoping), and the other recently was my knight and shining date at a wedding where there was gonna be people that I'd rather not see. But all was fine and I survived. Knight and Shining is unreachable for me. But again, I digress. They say girls inadvertently look for dudes that are like their fathers. Hmmm. Married guy--cool and aloof-- def nothing like my daddy. UNCW Alumni guy, maybe the most like my daddy. Knight and Shining probably slides into second on that one. Nice guys. Genuinely gentlemen who have actual unselfish thoughts. Really? Men can be UNSELFISH? haha. Why yes, Betsy. yes. some of them have that ability... Well my daddy works too much and has lost a lot because of it, so that is the one thing I may look for the opposite in a fellow. (on purpose) Sigh. So, I need some butt-kicking regarding my nonexistent writing career. Please someone kick it. I'm overwhelmed. I don't even know where to start. I've had a quarter-life crisis week about it. But luckily the week is over and I have to leave in 10 minutes to go pick up a friend and go to a funny movie and laugh and forget my troubles. Ramble on chicas. And chicos, I guess. To be politically and genderly? correct? :) Ramble on.