Albatrossity
So, sometimes, I'll sit in my living room with the balcony door open. For one, I am refusing to turn the A/C on until it is just too unbearably hot, and two, because it is nice out and lets in natural light and fresh air. Well, it also lets in the varmints. (that is such a great word, isn't it?) So, I started lighting a large citronella candle (do those ever really work?) in the doorway in the small hopes it would help me ward off the flying things. I have also thoroughly coated my balcony in varmint-killing antidote. As you can tell, I am not too fond of the things that fly and crawl--at least the kind that can fit through cracks and slither through holes, and fly in your ears at night while you sleep...
Anywho. (don't you hate it when people say that?) I was sitting on my couch after a long workday, talking on the phone, and I see this HUGE flying thing make its way into my living room. Flew right above where the citronella fortress began, I guess. So, I got up b/c I know I can't let this thing live in my apartment for very long, and I'm on the phone trying to shew this thing out of the door. It doesn't work. I got off the phone so I could give the crisis my full attention. I seriously can't sleep until I know it's dead or at least not in my bedroom. I closed my bedroom door. I got the bug spray and start chasing after it. Luckily, the label on the spray boasts that it is 'non-staining' so I could spray it all over the white walls and ceiling. And I totally did.
It was one of those big mosquito like things...the kind that looks like an X when it's still. I guess I didn't douse it enough in the poison b/c it slowed it down but didn't fall down dead. So, I tried to squash it with the bug spray bottle and that just made it lose one of its legs. It flies off again! When it landed again after calming down a bit from it's losing-leg freak out, I smack it with the Walmart flyer and finally, the world is right again.
I did see a moth fluttering around, but since I closed my bedroom door, I'm not scared of it nesting in my ear and making me deaf. (that can happen you know. i knew a girl.)
So now, I am partially delirious and half-way breathing b/c I am allergic to the bug spray and it is now all over one of the corners of my living room, and I totally inhaled fumes. But I digress.
I told ya I started a new job, and well, I experienced my most embarrassing moment of 2009 thus far, this week. (I am sure by year's end, I'll have plenty to chose from for this title.) Um, about my third day on the job, my boss is riding w/ me to the post office. (I work downtown, and the PO on front street isn't far.) After we completed our transaction and I'm on my way to drop her back off, for some reason, I am blabbing on about something but I'm looking ahead and I see the traffic light. I see it. But in my mind, it was green. Well, I keep driving. And as it is too late to stop, she says, "You know it's red right?" And it didn't process in my mind. I didn't get it. And I go right through this red light. A red light on THIRD street. Not just some dinky two-lane intersection. This one is one of the larger ones downtown. And I work in the heart of the highest concentration of law enforcement in the city. (I didn't get a ticket though.) Because of this insanity, my mouth says an expletive. (not proud of that) I realize the magnitude of what just happened: I almost killed my boss.
I have NEVER ran through a traffic light. I have never been in a wreck. (aside from people hitting ME, but I have never been the cause) What in the WORLD caused this sudden mind fart of absenteeism? It's like I checked out. I saw green. I went.
God was looking out for me. Because that could have been B A D.
So, my boss laughed it off and I tell her I am mortified. She hasn't mentioned it since, but I'm hard on myself. I know this happens at some point or another to most people, but how can she not think I am a complete MORON and horrible driver to boot?!
I guess I'll just have to make it up to her and prove to her otherwise. I guess she wouldn't have hired me if she really thought that, and I am overreacting, and was just nervous. Right?
Well, only me. Only me would this happen to. Hah.
I am going to bed watching The Golden Girls (RIP Bea) and hoping this burning feeling in my nose goes away and my head stops feeling light. I shouldn't sprayed that stuff in my house...
Anywho. (don't you hate it when people say that?) I was sitting on my couch after a long workday, talking on the phone, and I see this HUGE flying thing make its way into my living room. Flew right above where the citronella fortress began, I guess. So, I got up b/c I know I can't let this thing live in my apartment for very long, and I'm on the phone trying to shew this thing out of the door. It doesn't work. I got off the phone so I could give the crisis my full attention. I seriously can't sleep until I know it's dead or at least not in my bedroom. I closed my bedroom door. I got the bug spray and start chasing after it. Luckily, the label on the spray boasts that it is 'non-staining' so I could spray it all over the white walls and ceiling. And I totally did.
It was one of those big mosquito like things...the kind that looks like an X when it's still. I guess I didn't douse it enough in the poison b/c it slowed it down but didn't fall down dead. So, I tried to squash it with the bug spray bottle and that just made it lose one of its legs. It flies off again! When it landed again after calming down a bit from it's losing-leg freak out, I smack it with the Walmart flyer and finally, the world is right again.
I did see a moth fluttering around, but since I closed my bedroom door, I'm not scared of it nesting in my ear and making me deaf. (that can happen you know. i knew a girl.)
So now, I am partially delirious and half-way breathing b/c I am allergic to the bug spray and it is now all over one of the corners of my living room, and I totally inhaled fumes. But I digress.
I told ya I started a new job, and well, I experienced my most embarrassing moment of 2009 thus far, this week. (I am sure by year's end, I'll have plenty to chose from for this title.) Um, about my third day on the job, my boss is riding w/ me to the post office. (I work downtown, and the PO on front street isn't far.) After we completed our transaction and I'm on my way to drop her back off, for some reason, I am blabbing on about something but I'm looking ahead and I see the traffic light. I see it. But in my mind, it was green. Well, I keep driving. And as it is too late to stop, she says, "You know it's red right?" And it didn't process in my mind. I didn't get it. And I go right through this red light. A red light on THIRD street. Not just some dinky two-lane intersection. This one is one of the larger ones downtown. And I work in the heart of the highest concentration of law enforcement in the city. (I didn't get a ticket though.) Because of this insanity, my mouth says an expletive. (not proud of that) I realize the magnitude of what just happened: I almost killed my boss.
I have NEVER ran through a traffic light. I have never been in a wreck. (aside from people hitting ME, but I have never been the cause) What in the WORLD caused this sudden mind fart of absenteeism? It's like I checked out. I saw green. I went.
God was looking out for me. Because that could have been B A D.
So, my boss laughed it off and I tell her I am mortified. She hasn't mentioned it since, but I'm hard on myself. I know this happens at some point or another to most people, but how can she not think I am a complete MORON and horrible driver to boot?!
I guess I'll just have to make it up to her and prove to her otherwise. I guess she wouldn't have hired me if she really thought that, and I am overreacting, and was just nervous. Right?
Well, only me. Only me would this happen to. Hah.
I am going to bed watching The Golden Girls (RIP Bea) and hoping this burning feeling in my nose goes away and my head stops feeling light. I shouldn't sprayed that stuff in my house...
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